ENCOUNTER

This weekend I had an encounter with my Lord and Savior. It was an amazing and completely singular experience. I was, again, shown another reason as to why I am so, so grateful to have been led to this church. I thought, I have to write about this experience... but as I'm here at the computer I don't even know how to explain what I just went through. All I can say is that I feel like EVERYONE I know should go on an Encounter.

In between sessions, this weekend, I found myself journaling. Just writing my thoughts and feelings as things progressed. Due to the amount of them and their lengths, I will not share them all, but I want to share some of the things I "jotted" down during my encounter, maybe it will give you an idea of the revelation and freedom I experienced:

"... the realness of this moment is filled with holiness and love."

"It's no wonder my marriage has not been blessed - I have not shown it honor or sanctity."

"I am a shell of who I was. Who am I? I have no identity, other than that of Christ's child. He is my father and I his daughter. All other parts of who I am are a distortion of that truth."

"... I pray you will direct me, love me, and continue breaking me and making me into your new creation."

"I didn't know what to expect for this weekend. I was expecting to have an encounter with my Heavenly Father - but I did not expect this. I had no idea the unforgiveness I had in my heart. I had no idea the shame I had buried deep inside, from things I've said and done in the past. I thought I had let go of these things - I thought I had forgiven my trespasses as well as myself a long time ago... but come to find out I had only locked them away and forgot where I'd put them. This encounter has unlocked that chest of ugliness and sin, and in doing so I've been ripped apart. It has become quite apparent that I am completely inadequate in being in charge of my own life. I thank you, Jesus, for breaking me apart today, that I can genuinely see that without you I cam truly a cursed nothing with the inability to care for myself. Thank you for your degradation on the cross. For your selfless love. what can I do but praise you? Thank you? I dedicate my life to you and your will - for without you I'd be dead!"

Encounter

I'm being broken in pieces
And ripped to shreds
My identity is gone
The old me is dead
"You're making me new"
I thought as I cried
You're making me new
I can feel it inside

It is through Jesus and his Holy Spirit that I have been changed forever... praise His holy name!

The example of Saul...

At work I have a dear, dear friend named Michael. I just love him!

Today, him and I were talking about him needing to stop chewing tobacco (it's SO gross... I mean I was a smoker for a LONG time, but this snuff stuff is super gross), and he informed me that he can't quit chewing it because he can't change. (hmmm... really?)

Using myself as an example, I told him, "Look at me. I said I couldn't change and I didn't think I'd ever quit smoking, but I have... how do you think I did that?" His reply to me was, "You're strong. You were determined. It was your will - you wanted to quit so you did."

I had to laugh at that, because I am SO weak, and although I said I was determined, deep down I didn't want to quit at all!! I told Michael he was quite incorrect and that I had no part in it, other than the prayers I'd pray, asking God to put it on my heart to WANT to quit smoking ('cause he knew too, that I didn't really want to) and that he'd take this addiction away from me. And guess what? He did!!

So Michael says, "Oh, you're gonna play that card now, huh?" [LOL] "Yes," I said, "I'm going to play that card." So the conversation continues and he tells me that his girlfriend tells him that he's got the devil in him and she wants him to change too, but Michael says he doesn't believe in the devil or God, or any of that stuff. I replied that he's thinking of a little red devil in cartoon form - which is not real - but there IS a devil and he's very, very real. Michael doesn't think so... but dropped that subject fairly quickly.

Again he tells me about his inability to change in any way for the good. I told him that I disagreed that change was impossible. I said to him, "Let me tell you a little story about a man named Saul..." I went on to tell him about the bad things Saul did to Christ's followers and the type of man he was. I said to Michael that, "I'm sure if it had been left up to Saul he would have thought he couldn't change either... but lucky for him, and many others Jesus intervened and changed Saul's entire life!" I told him that while on the road, Saul saw a blinding light and Jesus actually spoke to him directly!! We were at work, so I couldn't go into the story much deeper, but I let him know that because of Jesus Saul DID change and ended up living a life completely dedicated to Him!! Wow!

Michael listened to me tell this story (I appreciated his sincere concentration, by the way), but still says he can't change. I just smiled at him and told him that was okay if he didn't think so, I said that I have an amazing "prayer team" and I'd make sure that I asked them to pray for him that he may be set free.

(then he wanted to read me my horoscope LOL go figure)

I post this blog, not to give myself glory - but to glorify my Father!! This was the first time that He used me to speak to someone, using actual scriptural reference, with complete CONFIDENCE that I knew what I was talking about!! This excites me SO MUCH!!

Praise Jesus, my awesome King, Savior, and TEACHER!!!

Thank you, Lord, for giving me the right words and the right example for Michael. I pray that those on my "prayer team" will keep praying for Michael, that he may experience, first handed, the glory that is God and see that through Him, he too can change in ways he didn't think possible.

Amen.